"Shut your eyes. Jump. Take this beautiful fall."

Adam Watts, The Noise Inside

I must say… I love this album. It’s such a diverse, colorful, thoughtful album. It’s also the reason I’m still awake. Going to bed early is like saying I won’t get to sleep. Darn Murphy. Anyway… I was listening to my iPod and went to listen to one of his songs and it made my brain think too much, so here I am. It’s so poetic. There’s one song that I want to be played at my wedding, but that’s a different story altogether. So much for sleep, huh? Anyway, I had a long day… classes this morning and one this afternoon. I spent the rest of my time trying to get my work done for my Media Effects class and trying to figure out if I’m going home this weekend or not. I’m still not sure. I actually had energy, though, which is the first time in a long time that I haven’t felt like a shell of a person. The opening words of the song, “I Will Fear Not” keep ringing through my head, “I could fall apart before I start. In the grip of doubt, I need You, Lord. Will You carry me? Take hold of me when I can’t see an open door?”

I’ve been struggling a lot lately and I feel so strangely incomplete.

Our senior pastor, Tom, came and talked at our college group tonight about free will and predestination, which was so good; he knows Scripture so well that it was cool just to hear him talk, you know?

It was good to see people tonight at college group and at dinner… I feel like I am so isolated because of my insane schedule. Next semester will be so much better, since I’ll be down to four classes, instead of six. I miss seing people and talking to them and just hanging out with them. I just pray that God will “turn what was fear into love” regarding my doubts and insecurities. He loves me enough to change me, and I look forward to the day when these fears disappear.

‘Night.

Current Mood: Sleepy Listening to: Adam Watts, The Noise Inside Reading: Nothing.

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One thought on “"Shut your eyes. Jump. Take this beautiful fall."

  1. Hey! I relate to the whole not sleeping thing. Tuesday night no one that I know slept very well. COnsidering that I’m sick, not a good thing…Those two songs hit me really hard, too. I wonder if it’s because we share a brain or something 🙂 anyway, I likes the whole blogging thing, and I had to create one to be able to comment, so you might have to check mine out later, k?Love ya!

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