At a loss for words…

Where to begin?

I am officially done with another school year and I have one semester left.

12 credits stand between me and the end of my formal education, between me and the “real world,” and between me and all that I do not know.

It’s incredible how much has changed in the past year – it’s incredible how God blesses us even in situations that we don’t see as blessings.

But they make us lean harder upon the grace that saves us and they make us learn to rest in God’s sovereignty.

In the end, we know not how to be angry with God – it seems impossible to do so.

We just don’t understand and battle the not-understanding, knowing that there should be peace when we can’t find it, blaming ourselves when we can’t get quite to where we know we need to be.

But perhaps there is a beauty in that, as well.

God has us placed where we are for reasons that we may never know; He has prepared things for us to do and seasons for us to live through for the sole purpose of teaching us how to glorify Him in all circumstances.

This summer is one of those times. I don’t understand why things have lined up as they have, but I’m here, I have to return to school in the fall (instead of being done now, which was the original plan), and there is a peace and a safety in that – and I never expected to find peace or safety in these circumstances.

Laura’s half-living in the basement. Mom’s really excited that I’m home and she has plans for us to do that she hasn’t told me about yet, which are supposed to be crazy for her, but I’m excited about that. Dad’s watching hard drives on eBay so that we can dedicate not only time but storage space to a recording project. John’s coming home in about a month.

And I turn 21 on Tuesday, which has me feeling rather old.

That and the fact that I took what might be my last scantron exam Wednesday. I wrote a long term paper, wrote a short paper on the ethics of MySpace, and wrote an article that I’m actually satisfied with (because I had more than enough information – that’s never happened before).

This is going to be a strange summer, for certain, but God will bless it. Perhaps especially because of that.

How strange to have all of my stuff in one place again!

But another year has ended and, now, it is time to look for a job. Again. ‘Night.

Mood: Exhausted, missing people Listening to: MercyMe, Spoken For
Reading: David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim


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