On the Closing of College

This morning, I took the last exam of my compulsory college career. Halfway through, I stopped and asked myself how I would feel if that last exam turned out to have horrific results. When I finished, I realized anew that it didn’t even matter.

Nonetheless, things have been very strange. There’s no longer this week-by-week sense of dread due to looming assignments and deadlines – there’s just this big void with a big question: Who is going to hire you and why? (Okay, two questions.)

But things have gone so smoothly that it is difficult to really notice much of the transition. I have worked myself silly this semester between work and school and the Voice that I have barely had time to look up and notice that it’s now December, which means I need to finish my Christmas shopping (I’ve barely made a dent), figure out wedding details and find a job.

My days as a college student are over – all I have left is to turn in a paper and a project, pick up my cap and gown, and walk at commencement on Saturday. I’m graduating in the top three for my concentration (How did that happen?) and it’s possible that I might have pulled straight-As this semester (for the first time in a long time). For me, the end of things has always been a motivator to finish as strong as I began (I did the same in high school).

But it’s over. I’m currently working my last late-night desk shift. I finish moving out of Newsom tomorrow and I have my last desk shift tomorrow afternoon before heading home for a travel-filled weekend of visiting people all over the state while attempting to make everyone happy and still get to the JTC reception and (not to mention) my graduation on time.

Strange thing, this growing up. I’m actually starting to feel it. Sure, I can’t ever suppress my inner child fully, but my inner child is beginning to see some of the realities of living in the land of adults. Crazy.

How beautiful is God’s Word, though? I mean, seriously… I finished the second half of 1st Corinthians today (for the second time this week) and I was just blown away! The way Paul addresses people, whether in error or ignorance, reverberates with love. How I wish I reacted to everyone in that way!

As for now, I’m afraid I must vacuum the office and finish the remainder of my time here (40 minutes). Then it is off to bed for the one who got four hours of sleep last night and has to get up after five tonight.

‘Tis so strange to be done, but I do suppose it is yet a wonderful thing – it means I get to marry Christopher that much sooner and, I must say, I heartily approve of that plan.

Mood: Contemplative Listening to: Copeland, Eat, Sleep, Repeat
Reading: Nothing – honestly

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